People come & go throughout our lives, most leave soft delicate imprints which we remember fondly and others stomp on us leaving ruts. What you do with the "ruts" is up to you...you can leave them ...letting them get deeper and darker as time goes by or you can get out your tools and smooth out the surface.
We've all had experiences in our lives that leave us dismayed, sad, disillusioned & angry... bad situations, hardships and mean people we later wished we had never met......One of the very, very wonderful things I've learned in writing class is we can let ourselves be disappointed, disillusioned and defeated by these bad experiences or we can see them as fantastic writing material...a lump of raw clay to which you shape into one of your many characters.
In my own personal experience, I've dealt with one particular situation for several years now...A nasty & clearly "off balance" person that (in a nut shell) refused to accept the fact that I did not wish to associate with her. It turned into a very odd situation ~ Kinda like when you are set up on a blind date...you go out... realize this person is not for you and politely refuse a second date...AND.....they decide to stalk you!!! That's what this turned into! NOW..I'm a firm believer in "Everything Happens For A Reason" and this situation really threw me for quite a while and I've questioned myself and asked over and over...WHY? What possible reason could there be for this happening .... I wondered what I could have done to deserve such Karma coming back on me. What did I do to deserve this mean nasty person ....and on occasion person's (now & then she would find a partner in crime) in my life. I'm able to joke about it now...but in truth, for the first year, it bothered me greatly and it hurt..but as time passed and it went on and on...AND ON...the same old nonsense again and again...AND AGAIN..I finally realized...it's not me...it's her(and on occasion them) and the hurt and anger finally went away...
.....but I still questioned why...why does it continue...why is this still part of my life...
Until yesterday..when it finally hit me.......it was like a light bulb being turned on...I swear, it was as if someone tapped me on the shoulder and said "Um, excuse me doreen...this is why.... Now use it!!!!...USE IT!!! Build from it...create characters from it!!!
........after the excitement of finally realizing WHY this has been given to me...(notice I didn't' say "happened" to me)...I hesitated..thinking "there is NO way I'm going to give them this much credit as to include them in my precious story"...but through class, I've realized that's the wrong way to look at it...it's not giving them credit...it's taking back my power..to no longer let it get to me....to welcome it..because it's something I can us!!!
Now I see it with all new eyes with a whole new perspective..it's a good thing..a really good thing...kinda like a constant free delivery of beautiful soft clay just waiting for me to mold into something wonderful!
Thanks for listening :)
Doreen
We've all had experiences in our lives that leave us dismayed, sad, disillusioned & angry... bad situations, hardships and mean people we later wished we had never met......One of the very, very wonderful things I've learned in writing class is we can let ourselves be disappointed, disillusioned and defeated by these bad experiences or we can see them as fantastic writing material...a lump of raw clay to which you shape into one of your many characters.
In my own personal experience, I've dealt with one particular situation for several years now...A nasty & clearly "off balance" person that (in a nut shell) refused to accept the fact that I did not wish to associate with her. It turned into a very odd situation ~ Kinda like when you are set up on a blind date...you go out... realize this person is not for you and politely refuse a second date...AND.....they decide to stalk you!!! That's what this turned into! NOW..I'm a firm believer in "Everything Happens For A Reason" and this situation really threw me for quite a while and I've questioned myself and asked over and over...WHY? What possible reason could there be for this happening .... I wondered what I could have done to deserve such Karma coming back on me. What did I do to deserve this mean nasty person ....and on occasion person's (now & then she would find a partner in crime) in my life. I'm able to joke about it now...but in truth, for the first year, it bothered me greatly and it hurt..but as time passed and it went on and on...AND ON...the same old nonsense again and again...AND AGAIN..I finally realized...it's not me...it's her(and on occasion them) and the hurt and anger finally went away...
.....but I still questioned why...why does it continue...why is this still part of my life...
Until yesterday..when it finally hit me.......it was like a light bulb being turned on...I swear, it was as if someone tapped me on the shoulder and said "Um, excuse me doreen...this is why.... Now use it!!!!...USE IT!!! Build from it...create characters from it!!!
........after the excitement of finally realizing WHY this has been given to me...(notice I didn't' say "happened" to me)...I hesitated..thinking "there is NO way I'm going to give them this much credit as to include them in my precious story"...but through class, I've realized that's the wrong way to look at it...it's not giving them credit...it's taking back my power..to no longer let it get to me....to welcome it..because it's something I can us!!!
Now I see it with all new eyes with a whole new perspective..it's a good thing..a really good thing...kinda like a constant free delivery of beautiful soft clay just waiting for me to mold into something wonderful!
Thanks for listening :)
Doreen
15 delightful friends dropped in for a visit:
Doreen, Thank you for posting your story, I think some of us have encountered people who were just not very nice to us for no reason, and you are right its not us its them, they have a problem. I think is great when you can see past them and see what you need to do to move forward. You cannot please everyone all the time, and with those type of people you will never make them happy, usually they are too caught up in themselves. Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy seeing what you create. You have a very special talent. Vicky
Thank you Doreen.
Hugs to you,
Rhonda
oh - that´s such a great post Doreen. I tend to take it in too, it sometimes can be hard not too. I´m so happy to read your story. Thank you so much for sharing.
I´m so happy to know you.
xoxo Tina
Wonderful story...and a big indication of the kind of person you are...to use bad for good. Hope you continue to be inspired. Many blessings!
Hello Vicky ~ It's so nice to meet you :)Thank you so very much for your kind words, insight and compliments. I look forward to getting to know you :)
Hello Rhonda ~ you are most welcome..thank you for stopping by. Hugs right back at ya~
Tina :) ♥ You are so right! I'm a sensitive person on any given day..and it is especially difficult not to let it get to you when you know the nastiness is directed toward you....it took me a LONGGG time to realize..their nastiness has nothing at all to do with me and everything to do with them. I'm so very happy to know you as well my friend :)Hugs, D
Hello Wendy ~ it's nice to meet you and thank you for your sweet words :) Many blessings to you as well.
Oh Doreen you sound so much like me, you give and give and give and all you want in return is to acknowleged as a good person. It is so hurtful when some people can only think of themselves and put others down to satisfy their own lack of self asteem. Keep up the kindness and you will find a lot of people who will welcome it and a true friend will return it ten fold. Hugs from the other end of Vermont, :)
Doreen, I truly believe that "Time is for moving on" It makes me smile when I find you are doing just that .I know when you put your trust in someone you thought was worthy of it only to find they were not ,is very hurtful. It has become very clear over these past few years that what she is so desperately want is to be like you,too be YOU! How sad a creature to surround one's self with someone else life .The light you were given was a gift, lighting a way to let you prosper from their pettiness,jealousy and evil.This is going to make a wonderful story a way to let you turn why was once a very puzzling time into a wonderful new beginning . It will be a story worth tell as only you can do. Love you Mom
A FRIEND ONCE TOLD ME "YOU ARE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE".. IN MY HEART I SUPPOSE I AM IN A KANSAS SORT OF MIND MOST ALL THE TIME, AND TRUTH BE TOLD I LIKE IT THAT WAY, THINKING THE BEST OF PEOPLE, TRUSTING THAT WHAT IS TOLD ME IS TRUTHFUL AND HONEST,, FROM TIME TO TIME I GET HIT IN THE HEART WITH A WAKE UP CALL, NOT EVERYONE IS OPEN AND HONEST IN A FRIENDSHIP.. IT HURTS WHEN THIS HAPPENS, AND HEY ITS LIFE AND IT DOES HAPPEN, WE DONT HAVE TO LIKE IT BUT WE HAVE TO ACCEPT IT AND TRY TRY TRY TO MOVE ON AND NOT LET IT CLOUD OR HEARTS TO OTHER "FRIENDS" THAT ARE WAITING WITH OPEN ARMS FOR A TRUE FRIENDSHIP.. THANK YOU FOR HELPING OTHERS, MYSELF INCLUDED, TO REALIZE THAT WE ARE ALL IN THE SAME BOAT AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER, TRICK IS TO LEARN HOW TO SINK OR SWIM.. IM WITH YOU I CHOOSE TO SWIM AND LOVE LIFE, THE "OTHERS" CAN PLAY POOR ME UNTIL THE COWS COME HOME WITHOUT IT AFFECTING MY LIFE ONE LITTLE BIT...THIS IS LIFE WE GET ONE GO AROUND,,, WE NEED TO EMBRACE LIFE AND A HAPPY HEART... THANK YOU DOREEN...I LOVE THAT YOU ARE HONEST IN LIFE AND IN YOUR WRITINGS....
I love your way of looking at it, Doreen! I'm sure your resulting creative product(s) will be the better for it, too. Hugs to you!
Good for you!! I have a quote written on my chalkboard that you might like.
"Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so..." --Wm. Shakespeare
Warmly,
Cheryl
Thank you for your thoughtful post Doreen. I find that negative behaviour, both overt and covert comes from a person(s) that one would least expect...leaving a body quite stunned indeed. You are so very blessed to have come to the realization that your path is forward...toward the light. May each day be overflowing with joy, happiness and peace.
Warm hugs to you ...
Isn't it funny how we take some things so much to heart? Then all of the sudden the answer is very clear, you wonder why you never saw it before. It's such a free feeling. I'm glad you are moving forward and using this nastiness as a positive experience.
Warm hugs and happy thoughts ~
Jenn
I am so glad to hear that you got this revelation! Hip, hip, hooray!!!
There you go.
It will be interesting to see how this is used in your life.
Nothing...NOTHING is wasted!!!
Blessings on you, Doreen!
xo
Wonderful post Doreen,
I know you were having problems with someone awhile back and it almost made you stop blogging...I'm so happy that things turned around and it's now something of the past.
I like your way of thinking.
Sometimes we tend to let these kinds of things 'rule' our lives and it doesn't have to be that way...they are lonely, bitter, jealous people who continue to do these things. Pooh on them...and Good For You!
Karen
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